The Blurry Photo that Challenged Me to Dream Big

I am the assistant to the Public Affairs Officer on my ship, and I love it. Basically, I get to take photos and write posts or articles about important things happening around the ship. Most days it brings me more joy to do that than my actual job. It’s what I earned my degree in, and it allows me to use my creative side, which the enlisted Navy tends to stifle. In the last couple months, I’ve finally found my footing in the PAO world and now it is my goal to join it. I’m volunteering for more projects and getting out there to network with other PAOs. That was not how this started, though. At first, I was very nervous and insecure. I didn’t know much about taking photos (to be honest I am still a beginner, but I’m learning), and I was scared everyone would see through me and see a wanna be that will never be. I’ve been learning to stifle the negative voices inside my head, and tell myself “Dream big, princess”. 

A pivotal moment in changing my mindset happened on a muggy day in August. I stood outside my Commanding Officer’s office ready to follow him around and take photos as he gave awards to some of our sailors. We step out of the ice cold air conditioning into the humid summer air, and as I start to take the first photo the lens completely fogged up. Even the inside of the lens was blurry. As I sat there trying to unsuccessfully wipe the fog off, 3-5 people came up to me to try and help. “I’m a photographer” they all claimed. 

When I saw these people come up to me, my initial reaction was to feel my insecurities. Who am I to think I could do this? I am a terrible photographer, I shouldn’t even try. All these people are probably making fun of me. I just embarrassed myself in front of the Commanding Officer. I am going to be fired. Okay, I’ll admit I am slightly over dramatic, but the feelings were real. Then I realized, my shipmates genuinely wanted to help me. They didn’t want to embarrass me, but they wanted to show off their knowledge. I let out a breath of fresh air, realized I was not in fact fired, and took to heart the lessons I learned that day. 

Who cares if everyone is doing it? Everyone is different. Five people can take a photograph of the same lamp and you would have five unique photos because we all come from different backgrounds, and we experience life through different perspectives. So, instead of dwelling on how many people are into the same thing, or if you’re trying to avoid being “mainstream” or “hipster”, dwell on how much you love what you do. Try it out. We as a society need to stop focusing on what everyone else is doing, and start allowing ourselves to do what we love. 

Humble yourself and ask for help. This one is hard for me. I hate not knowing things, so I tend to read, and Google, a lot. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough if I don’t have the answer. This has been something I’ve dealt with for a long time, and I’m trying to change my “I’m always right” attitude. To do so, I started to pick up new hobbies to make myself ask for help. I recently took up kickboxing, and rock climbing, and I’ve been dabbling in photography, as well. In order to improve, I’ve had to ask for help and admit I don’t know anything about the subject. A pressure gets lifted off the chest as we learn humility, become confident in our lack of knowledge, and develop inquisitiveness. 

Challenge yourself. I love creating goals. Sometimes I discover my goals to be too big for the time frame, but then I break them down and always end up accomplishing them. Want to become a better photographer? Have a meeting with three established photographers in the next month, to discuss tips and tricks of the business. Want to become a better writer? Challenge yourself to write a novella for National Novel Writing Month with an accountability partner. The best way to grow is to practice and allow someone else to constructively criticize your work. 

Do you ever advise someone else on something and realize you need to take your own advice? That was this blog for me. My mindset has grown a lot since August, but it is still very much a work in progress. If you have any tips on my writing or blogging, feel free to message me!

I promise it won’t be two months until my next post. 

XOXO,

KCB

P.S. In case you were wondering, ever since Disney’s Dream Big Princess video came out, I have to add the word princess after dream big, obviously. But, if you haven’t seen it… you need to.

Dream Big, Princess – Live Your Story